The WeatherPixie

Hi, I'm a weather pixie. OK, stop laughing. I SAID, STOP LAUGHING, DAMN YOU. Click here if, for some ridiculous reason, you'd like to know more about the current weather conditions in Knoxville, Tennessee. 



Friday, 10/31/03 - Tonight as I was backing out of my driveway to go pick up a pizza I'd ordered, a felt a thud and saw a blur of green somersault through the air and crash through my neighbor's front window across the street. Moments later, a 7 year old kid in a Hulk costume emerged from the shattered window.

I had totally forgotten that it was Halloween.

The kid yelled out, "I'm OK!!!" I replied "That's great... now get your little ass over here NOW and pick up all this candy you scattered all over my driveway!"

Speaking of Halloween, as I've done for a few years, let me once again dredge up this page of mine and also this page related to the event. For those of you who've already seen these... sorry. If you're new to the site... enjoy.

Thursday, 10/30/03 - I finally cracked open my digital camera after a few days and downloaded some shots I took from last Saturday's boating expedition with friends. They're good friends but still hesitant to be associated with this website. I can't really blame them as I have been known to "alter" the truth and reality from time to time...

Top row: Susie J., Lucy S., Al J.

Bottom row: Mark S., also known as "Whitehead."

Sunday, 10/26/03 - I snapped this photo at the Krystal drive-thru the other night as I ran out to get some fast food...

This is bizarre bordering on obscene.

Sunday, 10/19/03 - I had a great time yesterday. First on this beautiful autumn day, I went to Greekfest (celebrated annually at a Knoxville Greek Orthodox church) and had some great Greek food, browsed through the shops, and watched some traditional dancing. I went into the church's sanctuary and was stunned by the mosaic artwork that adorned the walls and the inside of the dome overhead. Absolutely beautiful.

My next stop was the mall. As I was strolling through the mall, I stopped dead in my tracks to witness an escorted entourage making its way toward the mall's movie theater entrance.

In that group was, believe it or not, Cuba Gooding Jr. My first thought was "Hey, that's Cuba Gooding Jr.!" immediately followed by "What is he doing in Knoxville?... Is he lost?" Our genius mayor was present and referred to him, "Mr. Goodly."


Wednesday, 10/15/03 - Guess what? My teenage son Nick is going to be in a movie.

Last Thursday morning, I dropped him off at a filming location of "The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things" in west Knoxville, at a closed down Burger King. There were trailers, tents, and lots of people moving around camera equipment and tripods and such.

I did a little unsolicited audition dance on the roof of my truck, nude, to get attention in an attempt to get into the movie myself, but they told me to leave and not come back.

He's playing a (very) minor part as a fast-food employee and he had one or two lines, one of them being "Should I call an ambulance?' Here's a newspaper article about it... not about my son's lines, but about the movie in general.

But who knows... his part may end up on the cutting room floor. But it was a great experience for him, anyway.

Speaking of offspring making movies, here's a little promo spot that my daughter put together for the new installment of my Planet of the Apes parody, coming soon. Thanks, Ashley!

Tuesday, 10/14/03 - If I'm understanding this right, judging from their TV commercials, the Buick car company is telling us that their designers receive and rely on subliminal tips and advice whispered to them by a ghost?

Wednesday, 10/8/03 - If you've liked the farfetched stories that I've come up with in the past, you'll like this crazy one...

Californians become upset with their governor for a number of reasons, one of them being his approving a law that allows illegal aliens to acquire driver's licenses. They force a recall election, the governor is thrown out of office, and out of a ballot that consists of Gary Coleman (whatchyoutalkinboutWillis), a porn actress, Larry Flynt (the publisher of Hustler), and countless others, they elect The Terminator... Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Oh, wait a minute... that really happened.

Unbelievable. The End of Days must be near.

Tuesday, 10/7/03 - I like to save people's reading time by combining different news articles into one.

Why is Tarzan always cleanshaven?

Saturday, 10/4/03 - OK, just one more Elvis joke and then I'll stop... for a while.

I watched Apocolypse Now Redux on Bravo last night and noticed the strong resemblance between Martin Sheen and his son, Charlie, who was in another major Vietnam movie, Platoon. In Platoon, you probably recall that classic shot of Willem Dafoe with outstretched arms that symbolizes the film and is used heavily in its marketing.

Then... my chin of thought... I mean, my chain of thought... connected that image to one of Elvis onstage that I had just used in my Memphis trip report (see last entry, 10/2/03).

This was the result.

Hey, it could have happened... in an alternate universe.

Thursday, 10/2/03 - Slow news day at Check out these thrilling articles... 1, 2.

I took a little road trip to Memphis during the latter half of last week. I have painstakingly documented my journey with hundreds of photos and volumes of fact-filled pages in this trip report, prepared for your internet enjoyment. If you're a devout Elvis fan, you probably won't want to see this (I will count the hours until the first hate e-mail rolls in).

I am not responsible for my actions.


©2003, Mark Longmire, The Wonderful World of Longmire