Born: Sort of...

Current home: The woods near you house.

Marital status: Me almost marry once, bride scream, end of bride.

Children: Delicious, with honey mustard sauce.

Car: Me no have car. Me have "Monster Truck." It haul ass.

Hobbies: Roam about countryside, fly into violent rage, terrorize villagers, rip arm off local constable, devour cattle, photography, gardening.

The book I've been reading: Frankenstein Monster User Manual and Troubleshooting Guide, Vol. II, by Victor Frankenstein.

Favorite quote: "It's alive! It's alive! IT'S ALIVE!"

Most irrational act: Me confuse little girl for flower, throw in river. Me sorry.

Favorite childhood memory: Me no have childhood. Me just spare parts.

I want to teach my children: Clean up room...or me make flower mistake again.

Favorite food: Me pretty much eat whatever me find on run.

Prized possessions: My Pokemon cards. Me almost have all. Me like Pikachu. He cute!

Nobody knows I'm: Misunderstood. Me want be friend... or me kill you.

I'd most like to trade places with: No one. Me like me.

My friends would describe me as: Hard to get know at first.

On Saturday night I like to: Sit, drink, smoke cigar, listen to blind friend violin, Scrabble, chat room, prank phone calls, bubble bath.

The person I most admire is: Al Gore. He steal my look, though.

Favorite movie: Faces of Death VII, narrate by Olsen twins.

Favorite actor or actress: Me think Mel Gibson hunk. Me worry about me.

Turn ons: Quiet walks along beach, rainbows, electricity, REO Speedwagon, feel of mash puppy between toes.

Turn offs: Pesky villagers, torches, pitchforks, neck bolts, flat head, windmills, Wolf Man (he think he so smart), people who just want me for body, over-commercialism of Christmas, rainy days, Igor.

The best advice my mother ever gave me: Me no have mother, but creator say "Those stitches will never heal if you keep pickin' at them."

If I've learned anything in life, it's: Drink good, fire BAD, N'Sync worse.

I've never been able to: Line dance. Me try once. Many cowboy die.

If I were to win the lottery, I would: Get new shoes, right size underwear, manicure. Me too get haircut... just trim on top, por favor.

The song I most often sing in the shower is: "Coward of the County."

The thing I regret most: Me never get valentine.

My most embarrassing moment: Smart-aleck villagers point out me wear high-water pants.

My most satisfying moment: Destruction of village after pants remark.

When people meet me: Take wild guess.



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