Thursday, 7/26/01 - Tonight I'm off (with a free pass for two, compliments of the local newspaper) to see a sneak preview of the new Planet of the Apes movie. In tomorrow's entry, I'll tell you what I thought of it... plus, I'll make sure to ruin the ending for you.
Tuesday, 7/24/01 - I got some responses to add to the "phrases (and buzzwords) we can do without" list posted last Friday. Here they is...
Hey, if this keeps up, it may grow into a page of its own!
Today, I created a new intro page for TWWoL. Got the idea from a giant statue outside the supermarket I shop at. I have no idea why they would think it would attract business.
Monday, 7/23/01 - My daughter and I saw Jurassic Park III on Friday afternoon. I have two words for it: Video Rental. At one point in the movie, the (human) characters enter an abandoned and desolate lab building where a lot of the dino-cloning originally took place. They smash open a vending machine to obtain food. Let's see... the first film (where things got wacky and the dinosaurs overran the place) happened back in 1993... so, that means the food in the vending machine is eight years old. Anybody out there know the usual shelf life and/or expiration dates on candy bars and chips? Maybe this will lead to another sequel entitled Jurassic Park IV - Attack of the Tyrannosaurus Shits.
Sunday, 7/22/01 - A couple of weeks ago (around Independence Day), I saw this little factoid...
* DID YOU KNOW: During at least one battle of the Revolutionary War, the English were alerted to the fact that George Washington was about to attack. General Rahl of the British Army was given a note from a spy informing him that Washington was about to cross the Delaware and attack. The general was so immersed in a chess game that he put the note in his pocket unopened. He was later mortally wounded in that battle. (Source: FunTrivia)
My question is: does this article mean that George Washington's army was about to attack, or George Washington by himself alone?
Phrases we can do without
I welcome your suggestions of additions to this list. Let me know what you're sick of hearing.
Wednesday, 7/18/01 - A pickup truck was in front of me in traffic today (I tend to write about traffic quite a bit, don't I?) and I saw a bumper sticker on it that read, "A DRUNK DRIVER KILLED MY MOTHER." I thought to myself "oh my Lord" as I strained to see a smaller line of text just below that statement. Finally, at a red light, I was able to read all of it: "A DRUNK DRIVER KILLED MY MOTHER - I AM MADD." That's what I waited for? Not very funny. I don't mean that it was offensive to me and wasn't funny... I mean it just wasn't much of a punch line. It had a lot of eye-catching potential but turned out to be a letdown. It might have been better if it had been something like this: "A DRUNK DRIVER KILLED MY MOTHER IN-LAW - THE NEXT DRINK'S ON ME!"
I stopped at an ATM this evening and wondered what would happen if you pressed the "espanol" button for on-screen instructions to be displayed in Spanish. Would you get pesos rather than dollars?
My favorite show on network TV (besides the Simpsons) is Ed, on NBC. It is followed by a show that I hate with a passion, The West Wing. A show with the White House as the setting could be a fascinating show if done right, but this show is too smug with its characters moving about quickly, delivering cutesy banter at one another. Watching it, you just want to knock these people in the head with the business end of a leaf blower. It's ridiculous and reminds me of another show similar in style that I absolutely detested... MASH. The West Wing is nominated for 18 Emmys. This tells me that if certain people are told repeatedly that a crappy TV show is great, they will believe it and ultimately worship it (like MASH). Let's see... what else do I hate? Oh yeah... PICKLES!
Thursday, 7/12/01 - Big Boy Brian sent me this animated cartoon titled "Ah, L'Amour" (1.6 MB). Check it out, it's pretty good.
Wednesday, 7/11/01 - I saw the digitally animated film Final Fantasy - The Spirits Within this evening. The story was a bit heady and hard to follow at times. It had the feeling of a sequel to a previous film... like I should should have already known the storyline (or read a book) before it began. Regardless of the story, it is a incredibly stunning visual treat of computer animation. One thing... at the very end there was an unintentionally funny scene that I laughed out loud at: the old scientist guy standing amidst a lot of blue floating matter says "It's warm...", which I immediately interpreted as him letting a fluffy. If you go see the movie, see if you think the same.
- Slow news day in Knoxville
Monday, 7/09/01 - Many people may have a green thumb, but I've always seemed to have a sinister thumb of death, being unable for the life of me to keep a plant (and even grass) alive... until now. I planted several different kinds of flower seeds and one batch somehow seemed to take to the soil, grow, and is now blooming. This flower is called a coreopsis... which sounds like a crippling disease. It's pathetic that this one little plant is the best I can do, but still, it's better than nothing. Here's a couple of pictures of my little superstar...
Kind of gets to you, doesn't it? I'm getting a little misty just looking at these photos.
Saturday, 7/7/01 - I was sitting scraping old paint off the concrete of my front porch when it happened. All of a sudden, I heard this bizarre sound... an amplified, screeching lullabye-like chiming sound coming up the road. The sound was distorted and warped, altering its pitch, like a audio tape playing "normally" and then dragging in places. The sound would have been right at home in a psychological thriller as background music for a serial killer chasing a young coed through an abandoned amusement park. The temperature outside seemed to drop ten degrees and the sky got dark and windy at the same instant of the arrival of the sound. I stopped what I was doing and turned to see what it was... the ice cream man. The ice cream van lumbered up the street and stopped in front of my neighbor's house. The sound ended abruptly with a scratchy click as if someone had dragged the needle off a record. It was eerily silent except for the cold wind whistling through the trees... and the sound of doors and windows from nearby houses slamming shut. This SWAT-type van had badly painted, and no doubt unlicensed, Disney characters and the words "Ice Cream" scrawled on the side. No brand name or company name, just "Ice Cream." A few neighborhood kids approached the van nervously and I was reminded of the scene from Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang where the village children were drawn out of their hiding places and duped with promises of candy, only to be captured in a horse-drawn cage. I turned back around momentarily just as the sound started back up, louder than before. I looked back around and the van was starting to move, but the children were nowhere in sight. The sun reappeared and it gradually got warmer as the sound faded in the distance. Something wasn't quite right about the whole thing.
Thursday, 7/5/01 - A portion of today was spent walking around my backyard and patio picking up the remains of my neighbors' spent fireworks. I collected several burnt out missiles, parachutes, and bottle rocket sticks in my wheelbarrow. I know where these came from because only two neighbors of mine engaged in an unending barrage of fireworks last night. After I was finished, I divided the resulting pile in 2 equal halves. When it got dark, I went down the street and, calmly and quietly, returned the used projectiles to their respective launch sites. In other words, I threw their fireworks trash into both of their front yards.
Tuesday, 7/3/01 - The (almost) Daily Comment was just reviewed and rated on "Blog You!", a site that does just that... critiques weblogs. I'm afraid I didn't fare too well based on its number of "Sutherlands," which is the system they use that is based, for some strange reason, on the actor Donald Sutherland. Am I upset or angry? Nah, not at all... just amused, I guess. But I do think these two guys tried to overanalyze my weblog and take its intent a l i t t l e too seriously. I mean, come on... "I expected The Wonderful World of Longmire to be a vicious stab at the Disneyfication of modern society...?" Huh? It's silly humor, man, humor! But I guess it can be lame at times.
What I find hilarious about this review is that one of these guys mentions that the newspaper-like design of this page "dupes" the reader into thinking it should be an editorial column loaded with controversial issues. Pardon the pun, but that's news to me. The design of this page surely wasn't intended to fool anyone. These guys have out thunk me. Hey, isn't there enough of that tiresome editorial stuff already in the media and on the web? I'd like to think that people visit this page mostly just to laugh... that's all.
Monday, 7/2/01 - My son Nick made the mistake of falling asleep on the couch yesterday. I took advantage of this opportunity and staged these photos without him knowing it.
Sunday, 7/01/01 - Last week I got this e-mail newsletter. Seems like I was the featured site of the week according to yep.com. They must be scraping the bottom of the barrel over there... but I do appreciate the recognition. If you found your way here via the newsletter... WELCOME!
Last night I went to see this movie called "A1." I was led to believe that it was a documentary about the evolution of steak sauce and the Association of Beefgrowers, but boy, was I ever wrong! About 30 minutes into the film, I thought to myself "What the hell is THIS?" There's nothing but a bunch of damn robots running around and that Sixth Sense kid looking for a Blue Fairy. Judging from their reaction, I guess I must have ruined the audience's mood when I yelled out "WHERE'S THE BEEF?" Minutes later, as I was escorted out of the theater, I expressed my outrage to the theater manager and showed him my ticket which PLAINLY read "A1." I asked them very politely to explain just what the hell kind of stunt they thought they were pulling...
Well, I don't take kindly to being called a "stupid idiot" and I vowed to get even with them. After I picked myself up off the pavement outside the theater doors, I screamed "YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH!!! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME!!! I haven't thought out my revenge yet, but there will be one... oh yes...you can count on it. Have any suggestions as to what form of payback I should render? If so, let me know. Your suggestions will be featured right here. Those lousy bastards...
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