Hi, I'm a weather pixie. OK, stop laughing. I SAID, STOP LAUGHING, DAMN YOU. Click here if, for some ridiculous reason, you'd like to know more about the current weather conditions in Knoxville, Tennessee.
Monday, 3/31/03 -
From an ad for this "precious collectible" in the Parade Magazine in Sunday's newspaper...
Come on, now... give us a @&%#ing break!
Like I've said before... there's a point when patriotism is overdone and becomes stupid.
Friday, 3/28/03 - My front yard is a wreck. Fall leaves and winter rains have left most of it looking like a dried out river bottom. But yet out of this death and destruction, life continues and flourishes...
I can relate to this tulip. I am beautiful, and in spite of the barren landscape of idiots and fools surrounding me, I blossom. My love is alive.
Tuesday, 3/25/03 - Yesterday, I returned from a weekend trip to Dallas, Texas, where I visited Dealey Plaza, the site of the JFK assassination. Click here for details and photos!
Thursday, 3/20/03 - I was reading this article in The Onion yesterday and noticed the similarity between these characters...
Of course, "The Hammurderer" is strictly dark humor satire, but the Ken Jo Markets Indian is real and currently in use. I don't know the reasoning behind why a running Indian with a huge knife would be used to represent a convenience store, or how they possibly could get by with using this image in this day and age of political correctness.
Wednesday, 3/19/03 -
A couple of Americans talking...
Tuesday, 3/18/03 -
Monday, 3/17/03 - Happy Saint Patrick's Day!
As I do every year on this day, I drag out this page, dust it off, and present it again to you.
Even though the much-publicized dog shooting incident in Cookeville, Tennessee happened slightly over two months ago, I just got the idea for the following graphic this weekend as I was pumping gas into my car at a local convenience store. It's a takeoff on an actual decal affixed to many gas pumps in the Knoxville area.
Wednesday, 3/12/03 - The cable channel, TV Land, which runs episodes of old television sitcoms, has jumped on the current Republican ultrapatriotic bandwagon and has announced that they are redubbing the audio to all "Family Affair" episodes. All references to the butler character known as Mr. French, will be changed to... you guessed it... "Mr. Freedom."
OK, I guess that's enough French-bashing counter-bashing.
Tuesday, 3/11/03 - There's a point when patriotism is overdone and becomes stupid. I read this article today on CNN's web site concerning a couple of Republican congressmen who went to the trouble of having french fries and french toast deleted from the menu of three House cafeterias. Instead, they are to be renamed "freedom" fries and "freedom" toast. Yes, I know all about President Bush and his fellow Republicans' disdain for the French government's disapproval of war with Iraq... but to show protest by changing the name of foods is childish, foolish, and yes... stupid.
Don't these two congressmen have anything better to do? Like pass laws and vote on bills that really matter to people? Were they elected to go to Washington to make sure cafeteria menus reflected their party's view on who they disliked at the moment?
I'm sure the French are truly crushed by this political and social statement. They may never get over it.
Hey, let's don't stop with french toast and french fries...
And, since Russia and Germany are also against the war with Iraq, let's change some more stuff...
Don't get me wrong... I'm not anti-American or pro-French, and I'm not even totally against the war. I can see both sides of the war argument, so like it or not, I'm still riding the fence on this issue. But... if you value the principles of "freedom," and then use the word in such a ridiculous way, you cheapen the true meaning of the word.
Monday, 3/10/03 - Sometimes I make a funny picture but I've got no real, solid joke to go along with it. Here's a couple of images I Photoshopped today. They may not make any sense, but I think they're just strange enough for a laugh or two.
Sunday, 3/9/03 - Happy Birthday to Miss Ashley Longmire, who turns 15 today.
Friday, 3/7/03 - I was reading about The Great White Tragedy on The Onion yesterday, and laughed out loud when I saw the comment below...
Check out the new live webcam image in the left column. I like to call it my "terrorist-kingpin-cam."
Wednesday, 3/5/03 - Inspired by the poem recited by actor James Garner in the Chevy Tahoe television ads...
Man, I love poem writin'.
I was driving home from work today and noticed some of those water barrel buffers at the beginning of a concrete barrier dividing the lanes in the median of the highway. I started wondering... is the water in those barrels drinkable? And if so, what would it taste like? Would it be carbonated or sparkling water... perhaps in a refreshing fruit flavor?
Further on down the road a bit, I saw a strange site. As I passed by a convenience store, I saw a car on fire. Not just a smoldering type fire, but the hood was up and there was an immense, raging fire in the engine compartment. It was quite a site to see, and of course I didn't have my camera with me. The owner of the car was walking towards it and actually entering the car, I guess to retrieve something inside (his air freshener?)... I don't think he would be trying to restart it. I'm no car fire expert, but logic tells me that if your car is on fire like this, you walk AWAY from it.
Speaking of cars in distress, this past weekend I did have my camera with me this time and took this photo (which really doesn't do the subject justice... you had to see it in person)...
Time to buy a new car, don't ya think?... or at least a new passenger side window? I mean, if the owner can't afford a new window, I can sympathize, but... well, in the meantime he's forking out a fortune in duct tape.
Saturday, 3/1/03 - I don't know what I ever saw in Phil Collins.
©2003, Mark Longmire, The Wonderful World of Longmire