Wednesday, 9/26/01 - I've been doing this thing to people lately. Try this...
Walk up to someone...anyone... point your finger in their face and say in a strong and determined voice...
"Whatever it takes and as long as it takes me, I will free the world of your evil."
Then turn around and walk away.
Friday, 9/21/01 - I think the stress of relentless reporting on the recent tragedy is taking its toll on television reporters and anchormen. They're starting to crack under the pressure. Case in point, on the evening news yesterday, NBC's Tom Brokaw started referring to himself... and forcing others to address him... as "Sweet Tommy."
Here is a snippet of yesterday's evening news broadcast...
Brokaw: ...we now go to NBC correspondent Andrea Mitchell reporting live outside the White House. Hey babe, talk to Sweet Tommy!
Andrea Mitchell: Uh... OK... Tom, as President Bush prepares for his address before Congress and the na....
Brokaw: Talk to Sweet Tommy!
Andrea Mitchell: Tom, are you OK?
Brokaw: Sweet Tommy say HELL, YEAH!
Andrea Mitchell: Sweet... huh?...
Brokaw: Sweet Tommy in da house. Say my name, say my name...
Andrea Mitchell: Tom... what is the matter wi...
Brokaw: SAY IT, BE-OTCH!
Andrea Mitchell: (sigh)... Sweet Tommy.
Brokaw: AH, YEE-AHHHH!
In other news, sales of American flags have skyrocketed across the country. From last night's local news here in Knoxville, I saw that our area stores' supply of them are running low. The Channel 8 news team reported where flags were still available using a text block list of store locations on the screen. The cutesy title of the list was "Flag Finder." I don't want to sound un-American, but that's just plain stupid. "Flag Finder?"... jeez!
Thursday, 9/20/01 -Former President Ronald Reagan has released the following statement concerning the current state of our country...
"Where am I?"
(Yeah, I know, that was a bad one... but you have to take in account that I'm pretty drunk at the moment.)
Tuesday, 9/18/01 - In our anger and rush to place blame, we should be realistic and stop and think before we prejudge the whole population of Afghanistan as being pro-terrorist. This article written by an Afghan-American, sent to me by a friend, allowed me to see things from a different point of view. Agree or disagree with it, there it is to read and think about.
There are people far more intelligent than me writing and speaking volumes about last Tuesday's tragedy. I'll leave that task to them for now. I need to get back to some funny stuff.
Monday, 9/17/01 - Residents of Afghanistan are now trying to enter Iran and Pakistan, fleeing their country in large numbers, in fear of U.S. reprisals.
I guess their celebrating is over.
The smart thing for them to do is to run the other way and overtake Osama bin Laden and turn him over to us. But mob mentality, panic, and self-preservation rules the day.
A few days ago I saw a segment on MTV News telling that record producers had to pull a couple of albums from distribution whose covers featured images of the World Trade Center buildings blowing up and another with a graphic of the New York City skyline in flames. These covers were, of course, produced prior to the attack, and were coincidences. But, does this mean images and messages like these are acceptable... until they become real?
I have long thought that the recording industry has no principals and will release anything to make money. Just because they pulled these albums doesn't mean they've suddenly acquired good taste... they're just worried about their names being associated with a badly timed image and possibly losing a buck in the future because of it.
If anything positive can come out of Tueday's tragedy, maybe we will cut down on violence in our entertainment, now that we've seen the horrible reality of it.
Saturday, 9/15/01 - Listen to James Taylor's "Fire and Rain" with the context of Tuesday's tragedy in mind and the song now has a whole new and chilling meaning...
yesterday morning they let me know you were gone.
Friday, 9/14/01 - Wednesday evening, my daughter begged me to take her and a friend to the fair that was in town. I had a headache and didn't really feel like going, but finally gave in to her. I didn't ride any rides and almost got sick just watching them. At one time, I was standing watching my daughter on a ride when someone pecked me on the shoulder. I turned around to find that I was staring, at eye level, directly at someone's crotch... it was a guy walking on stilts. As it was unexpected, I almost jumped out of my skin. The guy said that he didn't mean to startle me. What other reaction could I have had?
Thursday, 9/13/01 - I'm sure that a lot of you saw footage of Arabic people in the Middle East celebrating the attacks on our country Tuesday. Wouldn't you think that after all their initial jubilation died down, a feeling of dread and fear slowly dawned on them? Let's hope so.
As if you didn't already know the magnitude of Tuesday's attack, here's an aerial shot of the New York City area from videotape taken by an astronaut aboard the International Space Station. It clearly shows the massive smoke plume coming from the site of the World Trade Center.
"The bad end unhappily, the good unluckily. That is what tragedy means." - Tom Stoppard
What words can you use to describe what happened yesterday? I guess the most common description can be one of disbelief. Like something out of a movie, we witnessed mass murder and destruction on a grand scale. I was dumbfounded when I first heard the initial news. Then the second plane hit, then news came in about the Pentagon, then reports on a possible attack on Camp David. I got a nervous, uneasy feeling as I wondered what was going on and what might happen next.
My coworkers and I watched the events unfold on a TV with bad reception. It was only later at home that I saw them clearly. To see this carnage happen, in broad daylight, to famous landmarks on our home soil was too much to bear. When I saw the video of the 2nd plane actually striking one of the World Trade Center buildings, I couldn't believe what I had just seen. One camera angle was close and clear and showed that plane slicing into that building and erupting into a massive fireball. I knew I was seeing a multitude of people being killed at that split second. I couldn't get over that image nor the images that followed of the buildings collapsing. I felt sadness but at the same time a feeling of awe while viewing the spectacle.
This is definately a historical turning point in our country and I think the terrorists responsible for this have no idea of what they have started. It will be interesting to see how we respond to this.
Tuesday, 9/11/01 - I'm totally stunned by the disastrous events of this morning. My sympathy and thoughts go out to those suffering today.
Monday, 9/10/01 - The musical group U2 is hyped up to be some kind of great legendary band, but in reality they're just Monkees wannabes. Look at the similarities... the lead guitarist wears a trademark toboggan on his head and the lead singer is a foreigner who doesn't play an instrument. U2 needs to get their own style and stop stealing from true musical genius.
I watched some of the 2001 MTV Music Awards show last week and was truly moved by Janet Jackson's thoughtful tribute to the recently departed pop star Aaliyah. Yeah, sure, until she screwed it up royally.
Evidently, the late singer meant so much to Ms. Jackson that she didn't take the time to rehearse her "heartfelt" monologue in advance to know when her lines ended and the next group of mourners' lines began. Jackson continued and then stopped, realizing her mistake... then the next group repeated the paragraph that she had began. Jackson's sentiments were clearly not her own and were obviously written by someone else and seen by her for the first time via teleprompter.
This mixup has since been edited out of the version that is being rerun. Also edited out, per Jennifer Lopez's orders, is "Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog's" hilarious attempt to sniff her mega-derriere.
These celebrities are such big phonies.
Saturday, 9/8/01 - Got any questions about the sun that you need answered? If so, turn your speakers up, click here and prepare to be thrilled.
Friday, 9/7/01 - My daughter went to Florida a few weeks ago with her mother and all I got was this lousy bumper sticker...
For some strange reason, my daughter thought that I would like this gift. It's nice to know you're thought of when someone sees something referring to mucus. Reluctantly breaking the "no bumper sticker" rule that I've had for years, I gave in to her wishes and put it on the back of the car... and much to my surprise, it works very effectively. Now, fearful of the consequences, motorists give me plenty of room... sometimes a few city blocks' worth.
Of course, every now and then, I get some nasty-ass tailgating me with his head craned out his window and mouth hanging wide open, hoping for an airborne treat.
Thursday, 9/6/01 - I take pride in being a smart aleck. I've been one all my life. Not only am I a smart aleck, I am also a: smartass, smart mouth, smarty-pants, wiseacre, wiseass, wisecracker, wise guy, and wisenheimer. And whenever I hear those names used to refer to me or someone else, I feel all good inside.
As you might have guessed, I don't have many friends... other than fellow smart alecks. But the satisfaction knowing that you are good at what you do, being totally annoying to the general populace, is worth the social sacrifice.
You should be a smart aleck too, you stupid idiot... it's fun!
Wednesday, 9/5/01 - You know... once you think about it... you don't hear much about platypuses anymore.
Tuesday, 9/4/01 - I bought a new TV for my bedroom. It came with three batteries for the remote control... but the remote only needed two. I was confused as to what the third battery was for. So, not wanting to waste it, I opened up the back of the TV and duct-taped the extra battery to the picture tube. I then discovered that I could view NASCAR races with nude drivers. Needless to say, I removed the third battery immediately.
Monday, 9/3/01 - Happy Labor Day. I celebrated by going to the grocery store.
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