7/31/02 - Today is the 31st Anniversary of the release of
the film The Omega Man.
Back in 1971, when I was a kid of eleven years old, my folks took
my brother and I to see The Omega Man, starring super-stud Charlton
Heston. We got to the theater early and had to wait a bit for the
preceding showing to end. Well, my big brother couldn't wait and
ventured into the theater for a few minutes, came back out and proudly
proclaimed "CHARLTON HESTON DIES AT THE END!"
can imagine how thrilled we were to hear this spoiler. My dad was
especially proud of his oldest son for this unselfish act of kindness.
I can't remember if he was beaten for this or not.
then, it has been remained a running gag with my brother and me
whenever we discuss movies we've seen. Whichever one asks the other
how a movie is, we give our review and always conclude it with "Charlton
Heston dies at the end." Of course, this also applies to movies
that Heston isn't even in. At least we're in on the joke... sometimes
I "reveal" that ending to other people and really baffle
Happy Anniversary, you Omega Man, you!
are some links to a couple of clever reviews of the movie, some
sound files, plus a really crappy fan site (I don't understand
the bubble background)...
Monday, 7/29/02 - Well, my condom warmer is busted. The thermostat
malfunctioned, resulting in the coil overheating and melting the
relay. At least that's what the service technician told me. He said
that I probably stripped the turbo motor, too. It's a total loss,
not to mention that it ruined about nine perfectly good condoms... and ruined my weekend as well.
While we're on the subject, check out my
latest business venture.
I saw Austin
Powers in Goldmember on Saturday. Very funny... definitely worth a matinee viewing. Lots of visual gags involving urination, male genitalia,
childbirth, farting, moles... but mostly urination. It has a odd
ending... in one way like it's brought all the characters together
in harmony for a nice, happy end to the trilogy of films, but then
again it leaves us with a teaser for possibly one more.
In case you were wondering...
here's another Burchfield's pic... a double whammy for today...
- I'm OK.
I know I haven't posted anything for a while, but don't worry...
I'm doing fine and being treated well...
- So, the Crocodile Hunter has a movie out. That's just great. What
is with these loud Australians? Remember Jocko? Another loud Australian
from 10 years ago who was featured in TV ads for batteries. Paul
Hogan (Crocodile Dundee) is OK... he's not loud. The only time the
Crocodile Hunter speaks in a normal volume is when he's sneaking
up on some innocent crocodile, just before he jumps on it to wrestle
it and load it onto a truck to move it somewhere. Sometimes he just
attacks the animals for no reason really, just to look at them.
How would you like it if he tackled you and held you down while
showing all your features and orifices to a TV audience?
have nothing against Australians (I have a few readers there)...
just the loud ones. I don't like loud Americans either, for that
matter. I just wish the Crocodile Hunter would go away... and leave
the animals alone.
- Suzy J. showed me a funeral home advertisement from today's newspaper.
The photo used was rather odd-looking and didn't make much sense.
It showed a guy holding an object that we couldn't identify... so
we added our own twist to it. Check
- It's Peanut
Butter Jelly Time!
are the goon squad and we're coming to town. Beep, beep!"
found this photo as I was doing a Google image search for Mortimer
Snerd (don't ask). I really, really, really, hope... oh, how
I hope... that's a doggie chew toy on a blanket.
- Life imitates art...
Do you recall the Saturday Night Live skit, Janet Reno's Dance Party?
Well, it seems that now she's
having one for real!
for me, you little toad."
- Now, this
is quite unusual for someone who's done his damnedest to not be
- Rediscovered while cleaning out a junk drawer...
I got in some hot water a few years back by sending in this entry
to an Hispanic quiz...
1. What does Mexico City have in common with Los Angeles,
Both cities are filled with Mexicans.
2. What's the name of Mexico's fourth largest city?
Ciudad de la Hooterville.
3. Where is Mexico's largest flea market located?
In the parking lot of the old abandoned A&P.
4. In Madrid, the "Cathedral" of bull fighting
5. In Spanish, how would you say, "Thank you very much"?
"Thanko youse muy mas mucho, conquistador."
6. In 1848, the Mexican-American War was concluded. In what
city did they sign the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo?
Pigeon Forge, Tennessee.
7. What does "No Entiendo" mean?
"The video arcade is closed."
8. What is Spain's largest wine growing area called?
Hacienda De Los Thirsty Winos.
9. This is the Spanish equivalent of the English Musical
10. What city has the dubious distinction of being named
the candy capital of Mexico?
El Ciudad del Gummy Bear.
- You know, the news media is really irritating. Yesterday afternoon,
I turned CNN on and heard the unfortunate news about the shootings
at the Los Angeles airport. Now, if this incident had happened before
9/11, the reporting on it would have been "normal." Now
we live in a world where if anything happens, our first thought
is of terrorism until we are told different. But CNN, those idiots...
they keep on and on trying their best to insinuate that it's a terrorist
act. They reported on this event for HOURS and I truly believe that
they were hoping and praying with all their hearts that it was terrorism-related.
I bet they even had a graphic artist make up a catchy graphic (like
"Terror in California") to have on hand in case it turned
out that way.
- Happy Independence Day! Take a trip down memory lane and enjoy
these two entries
from a couple of years ago.
wish everyday was a holiday. You'd be off from work and the mail
wouldn't run to deliver your bills. Problem solved! Wait a minute...
if you didn't go to work, you'd have no income...
there goes that idea.
going to take it easy today. No fireworks purchases this year. I
already had enough excitement earlier this week at work when I dropped
an unopened coke can and it exploded upon hitting the floor. I was
covered from head to toe in cola... it even sprayed so high it hit
the ceiling. For the sake of my clothes, it was a good thing I was
naked at the time.
- This guy
sure does like the PowerPuff Girls.
- The screwheads in Nashville couldn't come together to agree on
a budget by the deadline of midnight last night, so the state government
of Tennessee is now partially shut down. I've been hearing news
of "skeleton crews" working some departments. I hope I
don't see any of those because skeletons are scary.
main problem seems to be lack of revenue and we're facing a possible
state income tax as a fix. We don't have a state lottery, but the
lawmakers seem to always shoot that idea down as a source of revenue.
They want to take our money via income tax, but don't want to give
us a chance to receive any. They're concerned that poor people are
going to spend all their money on the lottery rather than "feed
their babies." Hey, people are going to waste their money on
anything, be it whiskey, fireworks, or NASCAR crap. Might as well
spend it on a chance to hit the big time. Plus,
their money would go toward education. The
lawmakers don't realize that Tennesseans are already spending their
money on the lottery anyway... driving to Kentucky or Georgia to
Tennessee Department of Transportation has just about all of the
roads torn up. They start road projects here and there and then
abandon them for months or years, leaving us with roads with uneven
pavement, zigzagging road lines, and orange barrels everywhere.
A really great impression to out-of-state travelers who come through
here. And, rather than finishing what they start, they seem to be
always repaving roads that are already in good condition and constantly
dreaming up new road nightmares. Clearly, this is a state agency
that is out of control.
state is low on money, but yet seems to have more than plenty for
the roads. It's pretty obvious the state's money has been mismanaged,
and now they want an income tax so that they can waste more.