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The Waltons Go To Gilligan's Island
Sent: Tuesday, December 05, 2000 10:51 AM
Subject: Best Xmas Gift article for newsletter
Mark: Well, as it turns out, the newsletter editors didn't accept your entry in the "Best Christmas Gift Ever" article they're writing. But thanks for giving it a try. I sent in a best gift comment myself but for some reason they decided not to use mine, either. They must be picky. Here's what I submitted:
MY BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER
I guess it was the Christmas when I was about 10 years old when my older brother and I got a mini-bike. They were the rage back in the early 70s. It was great fun to ride until I accidentally ran over my grandmother's neck... but that was sort of fun, too.
Brian: They must be prudes. Or didn't ever get a mini-bike and have issues with that.
Mark: Yeah, I don't know what their problem is... rejecting quality heartwarming stories like that. They must have been too young to watch The Waltons. Remember when John-Boy ran over Grandpa's neck with the plow? That episode won an Emmy.
Brian: I thought Erin ran over John-Boy's neck with the Model-T... but it's been a long time ago.
Mark: Yes, I believe you're right. The original plow episode was so popular with viewers that the custom became an annual event. Each year (at Thanksgiving, I believe), one of the Walton kids would run over the neck of a parent, grandparent, neighbor, teacher, minister, store owner, government revenuer, or traveling salesman with some kind of vehicle or farm equipment. One year, the entire family piled into the Walton truck, drove to Washington, and ran over FDR's neck. As far as I can remember, I don't think John-Boy ever got his neck run over... but I do remember that he was shot in the head once by a chimpanzee, though. I think it was in "The Waltons Go To Gilligan's Island" episode. It was in the later years of the show and they were low on story ideas and hurting for ratings.
Brian: I remember that! I enjoyed that episode so much I was hoping they would follow it up with a "Waltons Go To Fantasy Island" special and maybe have Tattoo and Elizabeth get something hot going.
Mark: They were in the process of filming that special but the actors portraying the grandparents kept complaining about the heat and humidity. Plus, the island natives had some sort of religious objection to the birthmark on John-Boy's cheek... that, and he insisted on wearing a thong constantly.
Brian: I also heard that Ricardo Montalbon's accent got on everyone's nerves so bad that Erin ran over his neck with a Fantasy Island jeep.
Mark: Yes, that's a true story. And that midget Tattoo kept pissing in the fruit cocktails.
He's dead now.