Note: The standard address, date, and addressee e-mail taglines have been eliminated and converted to dialogue format to streamline and enhance your reading pleasure. All last names of participants have been omitted to protect the innocent...
Join The RUSH!
Sent: Tuesday, June 14, 2005 3:18 PM
Subject: The reawakening...
Mark: Join The RUSH!
Brian: I don't think RUSH is a good name for any kind of better health program. What not call it 'STRESS'. I think, 'HEY, WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO' is more warm and fuzzy.
Mark: How about "Torn Ligament?"
Brian: I saw them at the Omni in '86. They were touring with Limp Bisket.
Mark: You're full of shit because I just made that up.
Brian: I have a concert tour T-shirt signed by their lead triangle player Mig Gossitier. Yes, the autograph is faded and the logo looks like a big blueberry stain, but it's the real thing. I was once offered $4.00 and a hit of acid for it.
Brian: You're just pissed 'cause there wasn't much footage of Tito Jackson during the verdict yesterday.
Mark: So? Weren't you pissed off too? Tito's going to have to step up to the plate and start molesting something. It can't be little kids or he'll be accused of copying his brother. Maybe he could kill the Osmonds for some headlines.
Brian: Well, yes, but obviously I'm not living my life around it like you and standing at the gates of Neverland. Loser.
Mark: At least I'm at the gates... and not inside the house like you. Fluffer.
Brian: There's nothing wrong with two 47 year olds sleeping together as long as there's a monkey and Elizabeth Taylor sleeping in between them.
Mark: Are "monkey" and "Elizabeth Taylor" pedophile code words?
Explain yourself, Short Eyes.
Brian: I object.
Mark: Counsel is witnessing the badger.