Note: The standard address, date, and addressee e-mail taglines have been eliminated and converted to dialogue format to streamline and enhance your reading pleasure. All last names of participants have been omitted to protect the innocent...
Sent: Friday, January 19, 2001 1:59 PM
Subject: Got any?
Mark: Honorable Hamby, Have you got any spare panty liners? I'm all out. I asked Sieger if he had any but he said he only had one, which he is currently reusing by wearing it inside out. Hope you have some... I'm getting that unfresh feeling.
Brian: Sorry, dude. Contact the company nurse and tell her that you need the biggest gauze bandage she has, for a presentation you're giving. That'll work.
Mark: Thanks for nothing, you louse.
Brian: If you'd buy them by the case at Sam's instead of one at a time at the convenience store you wouldn't have these problems.
Mark: What are you using at the moment?
Brian: The bucket I use when I wash my car.
Mark: Doesn't that create unsightly bulges when used as a panty liner?
Brian: Yeah, except when I wear my Dockers. Otherwise, I get tired of the line "is that a bucket in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"
Mark: That wasn't that funny.
Brian: Funny Police.
Mark: No, really. Admit it... that was just kind of weak, wasn't it?
Brian: It could have been funny on 'Whose Line Is It Anyway' if it was used correctly and due to the fact that the audience isn't a bunch of cynical malcontents like some people I know.
Mark: Could have, if, due to the fact... I've heard it all before, my friend. You can do better than this. I know you can... I have faith in you. Show me your stuff, babe.
Shine for me.
Brian: I also think you didn't get a hug this week and subconsciously that's affecting you, you're not running like that well oiled bachelor machine that I know. Am I right?
Mark: Don't turn the focus toward me. You're the one with the lousy humor problem. Give me something funny and give it to me NOW, damn you.
Brian: Man who go walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. Now, THAT'S funny.
Mark: Funny, yes... original, no.
Shine for me.