Note: The standard address, date, and addressee e-mail taglines have been eliminated and converted to dialogue format to streamline and enhance your reading pleasure. All last names of participants have been omitted to protect the innocent...
Go Big Orange Paint
Sent: Friday, July 14, 2000 3:36 PM
To: Brian, Tonya, Teresa
Subject: Idiot paint
Mark: Get a load of this crap that's in today's paper...
The guy in the photo has "Vol Fan" written all over him.
Tonya: I just threw up my breakfast thanks to this lovely little article.
Mark: Don't forget to paint it orange.
Lost my breakfast on ol' Rocky Top,
Looking at a fan from UT,
Mighta made a mistake coming to Tennessee
Cause I'm from UNC,
Rocky Top, you'll always be,
A grinding, whining pain-in-the-ass song to me,
Good ol' Rocky Top,
Rocky Top, Tennessee,
Rocky Top, Tennessee.
Came out of the hills to go to the hardware store,
For my trailer I need to paint,
Saw buckets of Go Vol Orange stacked on the floor,
Got a boner and started to faint,
Home Depot, you'll always be,
The perfect place for rednecks like me,
Good ole Home Depot,
I'm so excited, I'm about to pee,
Just saw a great deal on big orange "T"s.
Brian: Hey Pimp Daddy Orange, you maybe want to the movies this week, say Thursday?
Mark: Sounds good as of now. If I feel later that I'm sick of you and don't want to go, I'll let you know.
Brian: Yes, I'll be looking forward to it, too. Peasant.
Brian: Hemorrhoid sufferer.
Mark: Anal bead.
Mark: Wet spot.
Brian: Runs With Panties.
Brian: Oprah wannabe.
Mark: Vol fan.
Brian: That hurt.
Mark: You flinched. I won.
Brian: I hope you don't particularly like the color of the wall paint in your office.
Mark: Same with your car.