Note: The standard address, date, and addressee e-mail taglines have been eliminated and converted to dialogue format to streamline and enhance your reading pleasure. All last names of participants have been omitted to protect the innocent...
Sent: Thursday, February 05, 2004 9:54 AM
To: Connie, Brian, Mark
Subject: FW: Game Ball
Brian: Rawhide malfunction.
Mark: Nip Iron
Brian: Roughing the nipple. Five yards. First down.
Mark: The officials are reviewing the nipple...
Kristen: The nipple clearly split the uprights giving the Patriots the win.
Mark: Pass interference, half the distance to the nipple. It's still 2nd down.
Brian: Clearly the Panthers not being able to keep possession of the nipple is hurting their chances to score..
Kristen: In desperation, Brady has thrown the Hail Nipple for the score!!
Mark: After the touchdown pass, the wide receiver spiked the nipple.
Brian: Oops, dead nipple.
Mark: After reviewing the play, it's been determined that the receiver did not have full possession of the nipple. Incomplete pass.
Kristen: Though he did get a good hand on the nipple before it slipped through his fingers......
Brian: He should have handed off the nipple before he got caught holding.
Mark: Bob, the quarterback has been having trouble all day getting the nipple to his receivers... do you think the weather has been a factor, making the nipple hard to catch?
Brian: Well, if he could have picked it off it wouldn't have been a loose nipple.
Mark: You've got a good point on the nipple there, Bob.
Brian: The center is having trouble snapping the nipple and now they're third and long.
Mark: Yes, it's time to stop bobbling that nipple, start suckin it up, and get it to the QB.
Brian: And if you buy twelve months of Sports Illustrated at our regular price, we'll send you an autographed nipple.
Mark: Which includes our annual swimsuit edition.