Special Report: On the Trail of Hamby


A stolen vehicle was discovered abandoned along a roadside just outside of Coeburn, Virginia, located in the southwest part of the state. Evidence recovered shows the bullet-ridden vehicle to have been used by escaped convict Brian Hamby in his flight from law enforcement authorities following an escape during a prison rodeo. Hamby's destination is not yet fully known, but he has taken a southwestern route since his escape in the Washington D.C. area and may possibly be headed toward Kentucky, Tennessee, or North Carolina. Hamby is an habitual petty criminal and has recently been active as an advice columnist for the emotionally troubled. The column is also for people that are just inquisitive, but mostly for emotionally troubled people. Yeah, it's mostly for troubled people.

Authorities have no explanation for the bullet holes in the vehicle and are adamant that they are not responsible for them.

The following photos were taken at the scene and provided by the Virginia State Police.

Abandoned vehicle discovered along roadside.

View of left side of vehicle.

Hooooweeee! What happened here?

The above series of photos of the vehicle and surrounding area are an indication that Hamby made a hasty departure from the scene. Prison attire can be seen strewn about at rear of vehicle. A case of Yoohoo chocolate drinks was located near edge of road, but was confiscated and consumed by police officers before photographer arrived on scene.

 The party will soon be over, Hamby...  Pink panties and shotguns... a deadly combination.

The interior of the vehicle shows definite tell-tale signs of Hamby's presence. Hamby is well known to have an insatiable appetite for women and doughnuts. Evidence collected indicates that Hamby may have been combining uses of shotgun shells and pink panties, which is illegal in the state of Virginia. Liquor and beer containers in interior of vehicle suggest that Hamby may be heavily intoxicated, or to use the common law enforcement term, "shit-faced." Also discovered in vehicle interior was a quantity of pornographic magazines, which were also confiscated and consumed by police officers before photographer arrived on scene.

 The ladies just can't resist his headband of ecstasy.  That's not my body! The photo's a fake, I tell you!
The photograph at left was found in the interior of the vehicle and shows Hamby with an unidentified female accomplice. It has not yet been confirmed if this female is the original owner of the above-mentioned pink undergarments, but authorities are optimistic because they think she's cute. It is suspected that the female has aided and abetted Hamby since his prison break by supplying him with money, shelter from authorities, and illicit back rubs. Hamby is shown here exhibiting his keen mastery of disguise, using his patented "headband of ecstasy.".

This oddly familiar photograph at right was also found in the vehicle's interior. On the back of the photograph is an inscription in Hamby's handwriting that reads "Gettin' jiggy with it."

Authorities are baffled.


Stay tuned for further updates on this continuing saga.


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