His & her burial plots.
Heart-shaped fake dog doo.
A drunken, underwear-clad performance of "Achy-Breaky Heart."
A romantic, candlelit dinner for two at the Waffle House.
Renewing your marriage vows aboard the Zamboni at a hockey game.
Misspelling your beloved's name on your latest tattoo.
A jug of vintage Christmas egg nog.
A crushed box of chocolates, complete with tire skidmarks across
A snappy salute.
A romantic getaway to a cattle auction.
A heart-shaped balloon filled with nerve gas.
A gift certificate from Frederick's of Hoboken.
A heart-shaped nicotine patch.
A heart-shaped orthopedic seat cushion.
A Christmas card.
Backstage passes to Wrestlemania.
A Valentine Post-it Note.
A personalized Valentine message spray-painted on an interstate
A single red rose... stapled to a carton of cigarettes.
A heart-shaped brush fire in the backyard.
A restraining order.