The Wonderful World of Longmire

Valentine's Day is that special day of the year when we show the ones we love just how much we care for them by presenting them with gifts or a show of affection. We at the Wonderful World of Longmire urge you to avoid these...

25 Lousy Valentine's Day Gifts


1. His & her burial plots.

2. Heart-shaped fake dog doo.

3. A drunken, underwear-clad performance of "Achy-Breaky Heart."

4. A romantic, candlelit dinner for two at the Waffle House.

5. Renewing your marriage vows aboard the Zamboni at a hockey game.

6. Misspelling your beloved's name on your latest tattoo.

7. A snake.

8. A jug of vintage Christmas egg nog.

9. A crushed box of chocolates, complete with tire skidmarks across it.

10. A snappy salute.

11. A romantic getaway to a cattle auction.

12. A heart-shaped balloon filled with nerve gas.

13. A gift certificate from Frederick's of Hoboken.

14. A heart-shaped nicotine patch.

15. A heart-shaped orthopedic seat cushion.

16. Heartworms.

17. A Christmas card.

18. Backstage passes to Wrestlemania.

19. A Valentine Post-it Note.

20. A personalized Valentine message spray-painted on an interstate overpass.

21. Bean dip.

22. A single red rose... stapled to a carton of cigarettes.

23. A heart-shaped brush fire in the backyard.

24. A restraining order.

25. A Chia-Valentine.


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