Sieger on Uncoated

"My first impressions were from the crib. I remember waking early one morning to sounds of my Bulgarian nursemaid performing the pagan rites of Spring in my room. I stood up and watched in fascination. The violence of that woman's monstrous thighs was both frightening and beautiful. Not long after that incident, my family left Budapest... which was odd because we lived in Scranton at the time. We arrived by ox-drawn rickshaw in New York 20 minutes later. As we performed somersaults down the streets of the city, I knew immediately this was the place I had to live.

"There was a sense that anything was possible... even stuffing a piano down the front of your pants. I became aware politically and developed slurred speech and a penchant for lying and spitting. I originally coined the coveted advertising phrase "Sale-a-bration." I'm living proof that every project, every idea, every day, every hair on my head, and every bum on the street has the potential to create new thinking and progress. The things that inspire this little prima-donna-delicate-genius are the things I don't know... and I don't know much of anything. When you're in the position of not knowing jack and having no talent, you must rely on your instincts, and really stupid clients with big wallets, to reinvent the situation.

"I've always liked uncoated better; it feels nice and soft and sometimes has pretty butterflies printed on it. On coated stock, I've always felt like I'm being sold something at a premium price - a car, a condo, or the steak and egg platter at Waffle House. And it always sticks to the bottom of my shoe. That is, uncoated stock, not the steak and egg platter. For the kind of big fancy artsy fartsy projects I do, uncoated is word to your mother."

For a FREE LIMITED EDITION POSTER "designed" by Mark Sieger, call Frontier Papers at 555-3887, option 478-B. Order today; demand for this poster by pet shops, kennels, and fish markets will be high. Contact your Frontier Papers merchant to experience the industry's most complete, lightly salted and digestable, overpriced, line of recycled grades.

Sieger donated 100% of his commission for designing the 'feel it - just feel it' poster and appearing in this ad to the Harley Rider's Retirement Fund (www.hrrf.org). Let's see... 100% of 0 = 0. Frontier Papers is honored to have worked with Sieger on this piece of...uh...this project. In tribute to Sieger and his impact on the design profession, Frontier is also making a charitible contribution to the Harley Riders' Retirement Fund.