The WeatherPixie

Hi, I'm a weather pixie. OK, stop laughing. I SAID, STOP LAUGHING, DAMN YOU. Click here if, for some ridiculous reason, you'd like to know more about the current weather conditions in Knoxville, Tennessee. 



Sunday, 5/30/04 - Sorry that my entries have been few and far between during recent months... I've been involved in a time-consuming lawsuit regarding my alleged sodomizing of a lemur. It seems that this practice is illegal when conducted on city property... specifically in the lap of the giant Alex Haley statue in Morningside Park here in Knoxville. Hey, even this web page about it says that the statue is "designed for interaction."

I think I'll beat this rap. The reactions of the jury after they viewed the video looked favorable.

Wednesday, 5/26/04 - Lately, it seems that I'm catching a lot of popular TV shows right at their season finales. This evening, I wasted an hour watching the coronation of our new American Idol... some black chick named Phantasmo or something like that. Geez... what a stupid show...

We have a winner.

Tuesday, 5/25/04 -


What the...???

Why, you little...

Oh yeah.

Saturday, 5/8/04 - are you getting along in this post-"Friends" world? Are you holding yourself until the fear in you subsides? Have you gotten any sleep since the last episode aired Thursday night... and have you woke up crying?

Life just isn't the same now is it?

Everything is different. Time bends, space is boundless.

It squashes a man's ego.


I feel lonely.

Some unforgettable verbage from two fairly recent unrelated e-mail conversations (the writers know who they are):

"No, but they became a little concerned when I started to dry hump the (Wal-Mart) manager's leg there in Electronics. You should try it sometime, now I know why dogs like to do that so much. It's exhilarating."
"I don't take crap from kids, that is why I am not allowed to be the bunny anymore."

Thursday, 5/6/04, Part 2 - They will no longer be there for you.

As I'm typing this, it's just an hour before the final episode of "Friends." Geez... they're actually having a pre-show show on... like it's Super Bowl Sunday. I never was a regular viewer but when I did happen to catch an episode, I found it to be a fairly clever sitcom. Particularly memorable was an episode years ago involving Ross's door-slamming pet monkey.

"Frasier," another long-running NBC comedy is also coming to an end next week. I saw an article about the two shows' finales on today. Also on the site was a readers' poll...

I edited the poll window slightly to fit in this space. Data was not altered.

I think it's hilarious that "Frasier" is running neck-and-neck with "Neither."

Also on CNN was this article concerning a brain-damaged woman hospitalized in Florida and the governor's (Dubya's brother) intervention to keep her alive. Although the story is certainly not humorous, the combination of E-mail Alerts listed on the page was...

Thursday, 5/6/04 - WE'RE NUMBER 9!!!!!!!!

Last week, Knoxville made another list.

And if that isn't bad enough, Knoxville is home to the University of Tennessee, and its Go Big Orange Country Volunteer football team, and we have to put up with this stuff...


©2004, Mark Longmire, The Wonderful World of Longmire