Hi, I'm a weather pixie. OK, stop laughing. I SAID, STOP LAUGHING, DAMN YOU. Click here if, for some ridiculous reason, you'd like to know more about the current weather conditions in Knoxville, Tennessee.
Thursday, 1/29/04 - Presidential candidate Wesley Clark (ooh, sorry... he now calls himself Wes Clark) started out running TV ads with an announcer doing a voice over followed by a tag at the end with Clark's own voice saying "I'm Wes Clark and I approve this message." Now, here's the weird part... new commercials feature only Clark himself speaking on the Iraq issue, but he still says "I'm Wes Clark and I approve this message." I can understand the vocal endorsement after words spoken by an announcer, who is another human being... but do you have to certify a message coming out of your own mouth?
Monday, 1/26/04 - Oh, what will the Average Joes do?
I started watching NBC's Average Joe: Hawaii by accident a couple of weeks ago and have become intrigued by it (translation: I got sucked into watching a stupid "reality" show). The basic plot of the show is to see if a beautiful woman can fall in love with an "average" guy based on his personality and not his looks or physique. She has a harem of dorks to choose from that are competing for her affections, and boy are they a choice group. I can't figure out why they would want to humiliate themselves on network TV. AnyHOO, things were going OK with the competition until the show's producers threw a wrench in the works by importing some manly man studs that are much more to the liking of the woman.
They arrived on a yacht, barechested all the way They were shown either standing shoulder to shoulder on the bridge or shoulder to shoulder reclining in a seating area sunning themselves... two things that REAL guys never do...
There were several taunts and boasts by the manly man studs as to how they were going to destroy the Average Joes' chances with the girl once they reached the island.
One manly man stud in particular lifted his shirt and said that the Joes were "going to have to deal with this..."
Wow. The next thrilling episode is on tonight.
Tuesday, 1/20/04 - IT'S LOTTERY TIME IN TENNESSEE!!!
i got a strange result after scratching off the lottery ticket I bought today, the first day of the long awaited Tennessee state lottery...
And for your information, the yard gnome has been painted and is now comin' at ya in 3D...
Wednesday, 1/7/04 -
This just in: EA Games has announced that they're releasing a new version of Medal of Honor.
Tuesday, 1/6/04 - Using part of a gift certificate to a garden shop, yesterday, for the first time ever, I became the proud new owner of a yard gnome.
I'm going to paint this little lunatic up real good. A little patch on his shirt says his name is Andre (although he looks like Ernest Borgnine). I think we can do better than this name. Anybody have any good ideas for a name? Anybody know how to paint/simulate drool?
To be continued...
Monday, 1/5/04 - Meanwhile, on Mars...
Friday, 1/2/04 - I was doing a "glory search" on my web site the other day on Google and found this link concerning those romance novel covers I spoofed a few months ago.
From the "not very nice or funny, but here it is anyway" files...
Get it? You see, there was this really bad earthquake in a place called Bam, Iran... and that chef guy Emeril just happens to use the phrase "BAM!" when he adds a special ingredient to... so, get it now?
Happy New Year.
Thursday, 1/01/04, 12:04 a.m. -
Happy New Year and Thanks in Advance.
I was getting the new year off to a good start this morning by straightening up my bedroom, and I came across a stack of papers I had printed out that contained this little e-mail gem from New Year's of 3 years ago. What a coinky-dink. I don't think it's been published yet...
©2004, Mark Longmire, The Wonderful World of Longmire